Okomi [completed]

Name: Okomi

Age: 14
Appearance:

Personality:Okomi Acts Kinda Weird in Different Situations Because He Has Fused With A Human And A Hawk So Its Kinda messed Up. Most Of The Time he Stay Come Except When hes In Fights Because All his personality Just Flares Up on him, And he Gets Really Really Angry, But Thats Just The Way he is. the Human part Of him Always gets Mad because he had To Fuse With A Wolf Just To Survive(thats not for nice of the human)


The Hawk Part Of him Always Wants To Fly The Because Thats His personality.the human part of him wants to leave this wolf body and lead his own life because his personality is all flared up, Okomi has a very very unpredictable personality because at random times he has a good personality but sometimes its all flared up.

Background: Okomi Was The Runt of The Litter So No One really Cared About The him, they Always Treated Me like A Trash then One Day They went hunting and they left him behind, while they were gone Okomi got attacked by a hunter, he was about to shoot him when the rest of the pack showed up and they helped defend Okomi, but that day was the only day they did something nice for him.


Around Okomi's second year of living his parents had died and his brothers and sister died to, he was the only one left, he was stranded in the middle of the woods by himself at age 2, he had managed to survive a couple of years longer getting cuts and bruises along the way, but he was growing stronger and more fierce then one day he found an injured hawk on the ground beside a tree.


Okomi was going to eat them but then something strange happened, a hunter came running into the woods and he tripped and landed beside Okomi, the hawk, then there was a big flash and Okomi, the hunter, the hawk were fused together. then Okomi noticed how it affected himself, he Had A Human Voice, And A Hawk wing, But he Was Still A Full Wolf.


At First he Didnt Know What Was Going On but Then he Seen All Sorts Of Other Animal With Different Body parts And Okomi Realized That Something Bad had Happened, There Was A War Going on And it Caused The fusion of The Animals, it Totally messed up The Food Chain And his Body, a Couple Days later he Realized that he Could Fly, talk Like Humans, Understand Humans and walk on 2 feet for very long periods, It Was A miracle......


It Took Okomi Quite A While To Get A Feeling For His New Body, But soon enough he was hunting, flying and walking on 2 feet. Then Okomi met another wolf named Chakoro, Chakora was a pretty nice wolf, A female at that, after a couple of days chakora and okomi were mating(only For Fun Though)
Then chakoro left because the fun was over, so Okomi kept wondering in the forest.

Humanic Traits: Nothing Really But he Can Speak Human, understand Humans And Walk on 2 feet longer then any other wolf he knows.

Original Humans name/appearance: he Fused With Joel he looks like This:


Roleplay Sample: Okomi Was Walking Along In The Woods When he Heard A Noise he Stopped And looked Around he Couldnt See Any one but the he seen a shuriken heading strait at his head, he dodged it of course the he said okay you wanna play like that, then a guy jumped out of a bush and said lets fight. 5 seconds later Okomi had torn his arm open and he had poisoned Okomi(just enough poison to make me dizzy) Then he Flew Up In The Sky And He Started Throwing Shuriken like Crazy At Me Okomi Got Hit By 2 of Them, Then he Came Charging Down From The Sky And he Bit His Head And it Was over...Okomi Had Killed Him!

First off, everything must be third person. Never say I or Me, unless it is in quotations (AKA your character is speaking.

Secondly, only 2 extra species in the fusion, meaning Wolf, Human, Hawk, and Bat are too many.

Thirdly, background isn't long enough, and doesn't make sense. Injuried animals of seperate species like that don't just happen to be beside each other. Make it creative.

So yeah, fix thoe things. Until they are fixed, denied.



when you finish fixing them, post a message stating you fixed it.


Also, as a sidenote, fill in the code from now on. Makes it easier and neater.

there i fixed it

All you did was add a paragraph, nothing was fixed.

Still isn't fixed.

Write it in third person.

i did put it in third person

Not all of it is in third person. Make it so.

Personality needs to be a paragraph longer.

Also, you must be aware that You cannot have a mate on the site. Ever, and you can't rp your pack at all in a fight. If it's a fight, it's only you.

well seeing as you have no bat, you don't get a bat wing. Because you don't get a bat wing, you can't fly.



Otherwise, approved.